American Idol Recap: Hollywood Group Night

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At long last, it is Hollywood Week: Group Night, the latest installment of the beloved “Hollywood Week” horror franchise that still stars way too many people. Somehow, 108 singers still remain, and they must team up and harmonize and do rudimentary choreography and hone 50 other skills they’ll never use on American Idol ever again. Harry throws down some hot Debbie Allen at them as the show starts: “Y’all need to get real. Y’all got to lay it out!” Before he can pound his cane on the ground and burst into song, though, Jennifer tells them, “Go home. Get some sleep.”We have seen Hollywood Week: Group Night before. There will be no sleep.Right away, there is drama. Shelbie Z. leaves the group she put together, and Poh just up and quits the whole competition. “I’m not ready,” she says, looking every inch the mass-appeal FKA Twigs she yearns to be. I think her sister — who made the top 24 last year and accompanied her to Hollywood — read Mike Albo’s The Underminer and put that strategy to work. Either way, Dalton Rapattoni and Kassy Levels are left high and dry.Jordan Sasser and his topknot team up with Jenna Renae, Jordan Something, and Kory Wheeler, who looks like he should be comparing facial scrubs in a Birchbox Man video. Together they form Team Blue Eyes, all of whom slaughter Bruno Mars’ “Treasure.” They’re through to the next round. -  

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Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.

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